狄更斯双语小说:《董贝父子》第33章Part 6

'He was an altered man when he did wrong,' said Harriet. 'He is an altered man again, and is his true self now, believe me, Sir.'
'But we go on, said her visitor, rubbing his forehead, in an absent manner, with his hand, and then drumming thoughtfully on the table, 'we go on in our clockwork routine, from day to day, and can't make out, or follow, these changes. They - they're a metaphysical sort of thing. We - we haven't leisure for it. We - we haven't courage. They're not taught at schools or colleges, and we don't know how to set about it. In short, we are so d-------d business-like,' said the gentleman, walking to the window, and back, and sitting down again, in a state of extreme dissatisfaction and vexation.
'I am sure,' said the gentleman, rubbing his forehead again; and drumming on the table as before, 'I have good reason to believe that a jog-trot life, the same from day to day, would reconcile one to anything. One don't see anything, one don't hear anything, one don't know anything; that's the fact. We go on taking everything for granted, and so we go on, until whatever we do, good, bad, or indifferent, we do from habit. Habit is all I shall have to report, when I am called upon to plead to my conscience, on my death-bed. ''Habit," says I; ''I was deaf, dumb, blind, and paralytic, to a million things, from habit." ''Very business-like indeed, Mr What's-your-name,' says Conscience, ''but it won't do here!"'
The gentleman got up and walked to the window again and back: seriously uneasy, though giving his uneasiness this peculiar expression.
'Miss Harriet,' he said, resuming his chair, 'I wish you would let me serve you. Look at me; I ought to look honest, for I know I am so, at present. Do I?'
'Yes,' she answered with a smile.
'I believe every word you have said,' he returned. 'I am full of self-reproach that I might have known this and seen this, and known you and seen you, any time these dozen years, and that I never have. I hardly know how I ever got here - creature that I am, not only of my own habit, but of other people'sl But having done so, let me do something. I ask it in all honour and respect. You inspire me with both, in the highest degree. Let me do something.'
'We are contented, Sir.'
'No, no, not quite,' returned the gentleman. 'I think not quite. There are some little comforts that might smooth your life, and his. And his!' he repeated, fancying that had made some impression on her. 'I have been in the habit of thinking that there was nothing wanting to be done for him; that it was all settled and over; in short, of not thinking at all about it. I am different now. Let me do something for him. You too,' said the visitor, with careful delicacy, 'have need to watch your health closely, for his sake, and I fear it fails.'
'Whoever you may be, Sir,' answered Harriet, raising her eyes to his face, 'I am deeply grateful to you. I feel certain that in all you say, you have no object in the world but kindness to us. But years have passed since we began this life; and to take from my brother any part of what has so endeared him to me, and so proved his better resolution - any fragment of the merit of his unassisted, obscure, and forgotten reparation - would be to diminish the comfort it will be to him and me, when that time comes to each of us, of which you spoke just now. I thank you better with these tears than any words. Believe it, pray.
The gentleman was moved, and put the hand she held out, to his lips, much as a tender father might kiss the hand of a dutiful child. But more reverently.
'If the day should ever come, said Harriet, 'when he is restored, in part, to the position he lost - '

“当他犯了罪的时候，他变成了另外一个人，”哈里特说道，”他现在又成了另外一个人，恢复了他的真实面貌。请相信我，先生。”
“可是我们照旧生活着，”她的客人心不在焉地擦着前额，然后若有所思地敲打着桌子，说道，”我们一天一天，按照一成不变的常规生活着，不可能发现或注视这些变化。它们--它们是形而上学一类的东西。我们--我们没有闲暇来研究它。我们--我们没有勇气。在学校或学院里不教它们。我们也不知道怎样着手。总而言之，我们都是些该--死的事务家。”那位先生说道，一边神情极为不满和烦恼地走到窗口，又走回来，重新坐下。
“说实在的，”那位先生又擦着前额，并像先前一样敲打着桌子，说道，”我很有理由相信，这种一天又一天同一个模式的生活会使一个人甘心迁就任何事情。什么也看不见，什么也听不到，什么也不知道，这是事实。我们把一切都认为是理所当然的，我们就这样生活着，直到我们不论做什么事，好的、坏的、不好不坏的，我们都是根据习惯去做。当我躺在临终的床上，要求对着良心为我自己辩护的时候，我只能把一切都说成是习惯。‘习惯，’我说，‘由于习惯，我过去对千百万的事情都是耳聋、口哑、眼瞎、感觉麻痹’。‘先生，您叫什么名字？的确，您是个忙忙碌碌的事务家，’良心说，‘可是它在这里无济于事！’”
那位先生站起来，又走到窗口和走回来；虽然他是采用这样独特的方式来表示他的忧虑不安，但他确实是非常忧虑不安。
“哈里特小姐，”他重新在椅子上坐下，说道，”我希望您能允许我为您帮点忙。请看着我，我的神态应当是诚实的。因为我知道我是诚实的。是不是这样？”
“是的，”她微笑着回答道。
“我相信您所讲的每句话。”他回答道，”我深深地责怪自己，十二年来我本可以了解这一点，看见这一点，本可以了解您，看见您，可是我却没有认识，没有看见。我真不知道我是怎么到这里来的。--我不仅成了我自己习惯的奴隶，而且成了别人习惯的奴隶！可是既然我已到这里来了，就请允许我做点事情。我以所有的道义和尊敬向您请求。您极大地激励了我的道义和尊敬。请允许我做点事情吧。”
“我们并不需要什么，先生。”
“不，不，不完全这样，”那位先生回答道，”我认为不完全这样。有一些小小的生活舒适用品可以使您的生活和他的生活过得愉快一些。和他的生活！”他以为这已在她心上产生了一些印象，就重复了最后这句话，”我过去总是习惯地认为，不需要为他做什么事情了，一切都已解决和过去了，总之我根本就没有想过这个问题。现在我跟过去不一样了，请允许我为他做点什么事情吧。也为您做点事情。”客人关切、体贴地说道，”为了他的缘故，您必须很好地保重您的身体，我担心它已经衰弱了。”
“不管您是什么人，先生，”哈里特抬起眼睛望着他的脸，说道，”我都深深地感谢您。我确实感到，您所讲的一切，都是想为我们好，并不追求其他目的。可是我们过这种生活已有很多年头了。要从我弟弟那里把他对我来说十分宝贵的、并已确实证明是他的坚强决心的东西取走一星半点，要把他在没有得到帮助、默默无闻、被人遗忘的情况下进行赎罪而表现出的优秀品质取走一星半点，那么当您刚才讲到的那个时刻降临到我们面前的时候，它都会减少他和我将会感到的安慰。我的这些眼泪比任何语言都更能表达我对您的感谢。请您相信这一点。”
那位先生被感动了，他把她伸出的手拉到他的嘴唇上，非常像一位慈爱的父亲吻一个孝顺的女儿的手一样。
“如果有一天他部分地恢复他所失去的地位，”哈里特说道。