关于英语幽默短文带翻译阅读
幽默是一种润肤膏，它使我避免了许多摩擦和痛苦。本站小编整理了关于英语幽默短文带翻译，欢迎阅读!
Three men were bragging about how smart their cats are. The first man was an Accountant, the second man was a Chemist, the third was a Government Worker.
To show off, the Accountant called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 3 equal piles of 4 cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good.
But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was good.
Then the two men turned to the Government Worker and said, "What can your cat do?" The Government Worker called to his cat and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff." Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, peed on the paper, assaulted the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.
三个男人在吹嘘他们的猫有多么聪明。第一个男人是个会计师，第二个男人是个化学家，第三个则是个公务员。
为了炫耀，会计师叫来他的猫，然后说：“Spreadsheet，干你的活去。”Spreadsheet走进了厨房，拿回来一打曲奇饼干，再分成3堆，每堆四块。每个人都觉得干的很好。
但是化学家说他的猫可以做的更好。他叫来他的猫然后说：“Measure，干你的活去。”Measure起身，走到冰箱那去，拿出来一夸脱牛奶，再从橱柜里拿出一个10盎司的玻璃杯，在里面准确无误地倒入了8盎司牛奶，一滴都没撒。每个人都觉得干的很好。
这三个人对公务员说，“你的猫可以干什么?”公务员叫来他的猫然后说：“Coffee break，干你的活去。”Coffee Break跳到他的脚边，吃掉了曲奇，喝掉了牛奶，这样做的时候号称背受伤了，然后写了一份委屈的报告说工作环境实在不安全，交给工会后，回家度过了剩下的一天。
关于英语幽默短文带翻译篇二The Broom Seller and the Barber
卖扫帚的人和理发师
A man who sold brooms went into a barber’s shop to get shaved. The barber brought one of his brooms. After he had shaved him, he asked for the price of the brooms.
一个卖扫帚的人去理发店修面。理发师从他那里买了一把扫帚。当理发师给他修面后，问一下他扫帚的价格。
“Two pence,” said the man.
卖扫帚的人说：“两个便士。”
“No, no,” said the barber. “I will give you a penny, and if you don’t think that is enough, you may take your broom back!”
“不，不。”理发师说：“我只出一个便士，如果你认为不够的话，可以把扫帚拿回去。”
The man took it and asked what he had to pay his shave.
卖扫帚的人拿回了扫帚，随后问修面要付多少钱。
“A penny,” said the barber.
“一便士。”理发师说。
“I will give you a half penny, and if that is not enough, you may put my beard on again.”
卖扫帚的人说：“我给你半个便士，如果不够的话，请把我的胡子还给我。”
关于英语幽默短文带翻译篇三New friends
新朋友
When my wife，Diana, and I met a new couple at church one Sunday, we stopped to introduce ourselves and to exchange pleasantries. We described the friendly neighborhood we lived in，and listened sympathetically as they lamented that theirs was just the opposite.
一个星期天，我和妻子戴安娜去教堂时，碰到了一对新婚的夫妇。于是，我们停下车，向他们做了自我介绍，我们之间还表达了相互认识的喜悦之情。我们的话题开始谈到了邻居，我们说我们的邓居如何如何的好。当他们说到他们的邻居恰恰相反时，我们表示了对他们的同情。
Saying our good-byes, we got in our cars and drove home. As we approached our house，we were horrified to see that our new-found friends were pulling into the driveway next to ours.
后来，我们向他们道了别，开车回到了家。当我们把车子开到家门口时，我们惊奇地发现我们的新结识的那对新婚夫妇把车停在了隔璧的停车道上。
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