双语阅读：男人不该结婚的十大理由
摘要：你该结婚吗?你是男人吗?先回答第二个问题。如果第二个答案是"yes"的话，那么第一个答案明显是"No"。 实际上，婚姻远非人们所想。过去几十年，结婚这种神圣而古老的婚恋习俗已逐渐退化为一场噩梦，纯粹劳力伤财，尤其是对男性来讲。
Should you ever get married? Are you a man?Answer the second question first. If the answer tothe second question is "Yes", then the obviousanswer to the first question is, "NO!" The fact is,marriage has never been all that it's cracked up tobe. And in the past few decades, this venerable oldinstitution has actually degenerated even furtherinto an absolute soul and wallet draining wakingnightmare, especially for the male of the species.
There used to be a great many practical and logistical reasons why marriage was an idealarrangement (albeit, from vastly different points of view) for both men and women. However,in the 21st century, the majority of those reasons have passed into the murky mists ofhistory. Today, it simply makes more sense not to get married. It's one thing to fall in love,another to surrender your emotional and economic freedom.
你该结婚吗?你是男人吗?先回答第二个问题。如果第二个答案是"yes"的话，那么第一个答案明显是"No"。 实际上，婚姻远非人们所想。过去几十年，结婚这种神圣而古老的婚恋习俗已逐渐退化为一场噩梦，纯粹劳力伤财，尤其是对男性来讲。
曾经，许多现实原因表明婚姻对男女来说都是最理想的安排(尽管从不同方面来讲)。然而，在21世纪，大多数这些原因已经消失在历史的迷雾中。如今，不结婚更合乎情理。毕竟，相爱是一回事， 放弃情感及经济自由又是另一回事。
's Going To Gain Weight, No Matter What (So Are You, By The Way)
10.不管怎样，她会增重(随便提一下，你也会)
If she gets pregnant, she's obviously going to gain weight (Score one for all you CaptainObvious fans). But, even if you remain childless, the both of you are going to gain weight. Infact, in many ways, the first five years of a marriage are a slow but steady race to see who canlet themselves go the farthest, for the longest amount of time, with the fewest possiblerepercussions.
如果她怀孕，那她肯定会增重(这显而易见)。但即使不要孩子，你俩也会增重。实际上，在很多方面，结婚头五年像一场缓慢持久的比赛，看谁走得更远，坚持最久，受影响最小。
According to a recent study conducted by the University of Queensland in Australia, women wholive with a partner (in this case, let's go ahead and read husband) tend to gain more weightthan women who live completely alone. Is it hard to understand why this should be?
据澳大利亚昆士兰大学的一项最新研究表明，与伴侣同住的女性(这种情况，我们可进一步称之为丈夫)比独居的女性更易增重。很难理解为什么是这样吗?
No, it really isn't. The fact is, women who are in a secure, exclusive, and committedrelationship, particularly one that has been formalized with a legal ceremony and a weddingring, feel no twinge of guilt whatsoever in gradually letting of the svelte little bod they had onoffer back in your courtin' days. And, honestly, are they wrong? Is a gain of ten pounds goingto nullify your wedding vows? Do you have a leg to stand on in court over this trifling matter?
不，不难理解。实际上，处于安全、专一、忠诚的男女关系中的女性，尤其是举行过婚礼、佩戴婚戒的已婚女士，完全不会为失去热恋期间小巧、曼妙的身姿而痛心、愧疚。但实话说，她们(这样)有错吗?增重十磅违背结婚誓言了吗?你会为这区区小事而对簿公堂吗?
Of course, the female side is taking the brunt of the argument in this particular scenarioprecisely because this article is being written from the male point of view. Trust us, tough guy,women notice when you pack on the pounds as well.
当然，这篇文章从男性角度来讲，女性无疑是争论焦点。相信我，型男，你增重时，女士也会格外注意。
iage Shuts Down All Other Possible Options, Permanently
9.婚姻永久斩断一切其他可能
Not sure what you're getting into? Don't know how you really feel about not having the luxuryof keeping all your other options open? Not keen on consigning your "Little Black Book" to theflames? In short, are you getting more than just the normally described case of cold feet overyou impending nuptials?
不确定你会面对什么?不知道放弃其他一切可能感觉如何?不想把"爱情黑名单"付之一炬?简言之，你比普通所说的婚前恐惧感受更深吗?
If this is the case, it's more than an ominous sign for the future of your marriage. We'd say it'smore in the line of a direct express telegram from the Bachelor Deity, warning you to shake offthe chains before they bind you fast in the fetters of unsuitable monogamy.
假如真是如此，那么这远不止是你婚姻生活的不祥之兆。在神学士的自白表达中更为多见，警告你赶紧松手，以免陷入婚姻的枷锁，被一夫一妻制所辖制。
Marriage means an end to all the casual dates (and the casual sex). Marriage means that youwake up with the same person, morning after morning, after love making, after arguing, aftermany nights of sheer, soul lacerating boredom. Marriage demands the state of monogamy,which, from a male point of view, may as well be more accurately labeled, "monotony". It's theend of your freedom and all of your options.
婚姻意味着所有临时约会(和随意性交)的终结。结婚意味着你在随后无数个早晨都将和同一个女人一起醒来，不管你们昨晚是做爱，吵架还是无聊至极。婚姻需要"一夫一妻"，从男性角度讲，"单调乏味"也许更为贴切。婚姻是你自由和所有选择的终点。
To put it bluntly, when you enter into the bonds of marriage, you're stuck with each other, untildeath do you part. There's a reason that these phrases sound so ominous and so final –they're designed to be. Of course, nowadays the radical cure of Divorce is far more easilyavailable than it used to be. But if you're already reassuring yourself with such thoughts thisearly in the game, it's just another little hint that you really aren't ready for the bigcommitment.
说穿了，步入婚姻，夫妻双方彼此束缚，只有死亡才可分离。这话听起来很不妙也很绝对—因为它们注定如此。当然，如今离婚处理起来比以往容易得多。但还未结婚你就用这样的想法给自己打气，这只能说你还没为婚姻做好充分准备。
ing Shacked Up Will Empty Your Wallet For Years To Come
8.就同居这事儿，就能让你穷上好几年
The average total cost of a wedding in the United States is currently in excess of $30,000.
现如今，在美国，平均的婚礼开支已经超过了三万美元。
According to a recent survey published by CNN on their official website, the total costs of theaverage American wedding break down as follows:
CNN在其官方网站上进行了一项调查发现，美国人的婚礼开支由以下几个部分构成：
$14,000 to rent the venue where the event will be held.
婚礼场地租金：14000美元
$5,800 to buy the ring.
婚戒：5800美元
$3,500 to hire the band.
乐队：3500美元
$68 catering costs per invitee.
酒席：68美元/人
$439 per printed wedding invitation.
请帖：439美元/版
$275 per set of miscellaneous party favors.
特色婚礼小礼品：275美元/套
An average of 43 percent of the total cost of the wedding will be paid for by the parents of thebride, which leaves someone else – namely, you – on the hook for the remaining 57 ter minds than yours have furrowed their brows in despair at the escalating costs and thelong years of their lives about to spent in making payments on a plan. While many havesurvived this ultimate ordeal, there are plenty more who wonder what demon whispered intheir ear to make them sign on the dotted line and wreck their lives.
一般来说，新娘的父母会支付43%的婚礼开支，这就意味着，剩下的57%由你解决。比你更聪明的人也难免因开支增长或多年缩衣节食度日而失望、头大。尽管很多人把这些都挺过去了，但是更多人还是想知道他们是怎么鬼使神差地在结婚文件上签了字，以致摧毁了自己的后半生。
It's easy to see why many young people of marriageable age choose not to tie the knot. Itsimply costs too much! Being tied to a payment plan is no one's idea of a good start to anyrelationship, particularly one that is scheduled to last for the rest of your natural lives. In fact,there's only one thing that costs more than marriage: Divorce.
很多适婚年轻男女选择不结婚其实很好理解，只因婚姻实在成本过高!想到要缩衣节食、量米度日，谁还有心思开展人际交往，更不用说要共度余生了!实际上，世上仅有一件事比结婚成本更高—那就是离婚!
iage Is Essentially Nothing More Than A Blizzard Of Paperwork
7.除了一纸婚书，婚姻再无意义
Remember when you first decided – or someone decided for you in terms resembling an "offeryou couldn't refuse" – that it was time to get married? Remember all of the paper work youhad to fill out? Blood tests, marriage license, all sorts of other forms and miscellaneous legalformalities – it's only the tip of the iceberg, friend. Indeed, there is much, much more to come.
还记得什么时候自己第一次觉得该嫁娶妻了吗?还记得哪天别人开始义正言辞得说"你该成家了"吗? 还记得你曾填过的各式文件吗?血液检查、结婚证、各类表格和繁杂法律手续—-这只不过是冰山一角罢了。要知道你(如果结婚)要面对的，远不止这些。
When it's time to fill out all the forms for your newly opened joint bank account, you'll besigning your life – and an inevitably large chunk of your future finances – drearily away. Whenit's time to fill out all the paper work for your shared health insurance, you'll be sighing awayas more precious hours of your life pass by. And there's more, much more, to come.
当你填写新开的联合银行账户表格时，你的生活—未来的大笔财富也同时消失在你的笔尖下。当你签下共享健康保险时，你将感叹美好时光一去不复返。还有太多太多即将发生。
When you really stop to take a good hard look at it all – and we imagine you're doing so now asyou read this – you'll realize that the state of being married is essentially a large, formallylegal, fiction. Does being married solve all of your intense personal issues, or does it merelycreate new and less immediately solvable problems?
若你停下来认真审视这一切—设想你现在应该已经这样做了—你会意识到婚姻其实不过是部长篇(合法的)虚幻小说而已。结婚真能解决所有紧张的人际关系吗?还是，它仅仅是制造了新的、不需要马上解决的问题罢了?
Does the fact that the two of you have cosigned a marriage license really make you that muchmore in love with, and committed to, each other? Whose idea was it to sign this paper,anyhow? Yours? Your spouses? Her parents? Was it peer pressure from your friends or yourchurch? This is a question worth inquiring into.
结婚证真的能够让你们更爱对方或者更忠于对方吗?到底是谁让你们决定领证?你?你老婆?她的父母?你的朋友或教会?这真是个值得探究的问题。
iage Means Sticking To The Plan – No More Spontaneity
6.婚姻跟着计划走——再无激情
Do you enjoy going crazy on the weekend? Driving up to Brooklyn on a whim and partying withyour best friend's brother's cousin's uncle's boss' nephew at a new Italian themed night clubthat just opened up? If so, plan on never doing so again. You've got a wife to come home to,paper work to fill out, dinner to eat, dishes to clean, television shows to watch, and a full nightof doing exactly what you did the previous four nights to look forward to. Sounds great, huh?It's your life when you're married, partner.
你喜欢周末狂欢吗?比如一时兴起直接开车去布鲁克林，在一家新开的意大利主题夜总会和你好朋友的兄弟的表弟的叔叔的老板的侄子开派对?如果你喜欢这样，那就做好与此绝别的打算。你有老婆，得回;你有工作，得做;你有晚饭，得吃;你有盘子，得刷;你有节目，得看;你有一个与前四天如出一辙的夜晚，来期盼。听上去不错是吧?这就是你的婚后生活了，伙计。
Sure, you'll hear about married couples who manage to keep the "spontaneity" alive in theirmarriage. These are Fortune 500 execs and hotel heiresses who can afford to fly (frequentlyseparately) to any breezy location in the world that they please. The rest of us don't have it sogood. Spontaneity is a dead letter in a middle class marriage. What truly prevails is routine,and the desperate need to play things safely so as not to introduce some new and terrifyingpretense for misunderstanding and resultant bickering.
当然，你会听说有些已婚夫妇在婚后依旧充满"激情"。世界五百强的老板们或者酒店继承者们完全可以如其所愿地(经常是兵分两路地)飞到世界上任何一个如沐春风的地方，而我们却不能。所谓激情对中产阶级夫妇来说一纸空文，实际上一切仍按照既有路线发生着，即便分开玩也要玩得小心翼翼，避免出现新情况，还要谨慎伪装自己，以免引起误会最终导致争吵。
If you have children, you can count on the drudgery to become even worse. You can't have ababysitter in every night if you expect to actually get to know your children. And, for obviousreasons, you can't be partying on the other side of town when they are going through theirfirst few pivotal life events. While witnessing these events is certainly a rewarding experience,the monotony that surrounds them may prove unendurable.
如果家中有孩子，那就视自己如苦工并接受更悲惨的生活吧。你要是想真正了解自己的孩子，就不能天天晚上请保姆。而另个显而易见的理由，你不能因为在城市的另一头开派对而错过孩子生命中至关重要的第一次。纵然看着孩子的这些第一次弥足珍贵，但围绕在周身的枯燥恐怕依旧难以忍耐。
iage Is Constant "Compromise" (MeaningYou Lose, No Matter What)
5.婚姻就是无休止的妥协--你输了，你输了，还是你输了
One of the things that your father or fatherconfessor will continually attempt to drill into yourhead before you take the plunge is that marriageessentially consists of an endless series ofcompromises. Now, this is where your recollectionof the earliest events of your childhood ought to kickin. To wit, do you remember the various argumentsand disagreements that your mother and fatherengaged in while you were living under their roof? Who won the majority of those arguments?
结婚之前，你的父亲或者神父绝对会做的事情之一，就是试图源源不断地向你的脑袋里灌输一个概念：婚姻实际上包含着无穷无尽的妥协。那么现下就到了找寻你童年回忆的时候。比如说，曾与父母同住一个屋檐下的你是否记得他们的各种争吵?多数情况是谁吵赢了?
Sure, your Dad could always lead off strong with the "I'm the bread winner" charge. But wasn'tyour Mom quick to counter with "Who does the shopping, the clothes folding, the nose wipingfor the four year old, etc.?" When all else fails, she fought dirty: Cue up the old reliable waterworks! Your Dad really never had a chance.
没错，老爸一般会理直气壮地搬出"钱是我挣来的"这个理由，但老妈是不是瞬间列举出"娃四岁的时候谁给娃买东西、谁给娃叠衣服、谁给娃擦鼻涕……"?当一切理由都无济于事时，老妈就出损招：让老爸难享性福!如此一来老爸就真心无计可施了。
Yes, he could stage a "down tools" protest for a couple of hours by heading over to hisbrother's house to drink a few beers and commiserate in the garage. But, sooner or later, he'dbe back, doing exactly what he didn't want to be doing, with the person that he would leastenjoy doing it with. Some compromise, eh, Sharky?
老爸的确是会以"罢工"抵抗上那么几个小时，去他弟兄的家里喝上点啤酒，在车库凑合一段时间，但过不了多久他就回来了，仍旧做他不想做的事，还是和他不愿意一起的人一起。一种妥协，对吧，老兄?
Of course, here and there, you'll win a few small victories. You'll get to keep a few of your oldhigh school yearbooks or a few Kiss concert T-shirts that you've almost, but not quite,outgrown. The rest of this compromise business is her domain, which she permits you to livein –pro tempore.
当然了，你多多少少还是能赢得点儿胜利，比如说可以留着旧时高中时期的年鉴或者仅有的几件有唇印的演唱会T恤，仅此而已，不能再多了，剩下的全部是她的领域，还是在她的同意下暂时留给你一，席，之，地。
You Enjoy The Premarital Sex? Good, Because Post Marriage Sex Is A Myth, MuchLike Nessie And Bigfoot
4.你曾享受过婚前性生活吗?那就好，因为婚后性生活就是个传说，就像尼斯湖水怪和大脚怪一样
Remember all the sweet good times you and your Significant Other had in the sack before youtied the knot? Let's hope they were good enough – and plentiful – enough to last you a lifetime. As it turns out, you'll need those sweet memories to see you through a long, intercoursefree desert of married life, which -need we remind you? – is currently scheduled to last untildeath do you part.
还记得在踏入婚姻的坟墓前，你跟另一半度过的那段抵死缠绵的时光吗?希望这段时光足够美好、足够丰富，能够让你终生难忘。因为事实证明，你可能需要用这段甜蜜的回忆来填补婚后长期欲求不满造成的精神与肉体的双重空虚。还有什么需要提醒你的呢?嗯——那就是从现在开始，好好计划在有生之年怎么维持你的婚姻吧。
The fact of the matter, in case you haven't guessed, is that sexual intercourse decreasessharply after marriage. There's a million logical (and perfectly joyless) reasons why this is begin with, if children are the immediate sequel of your first few weeks of honeymoon sex,you can just imagine how strong your wife's aversion to further potential "accidents" mightbecome.
你完全意想不到的是，婚后的"性福"指数会急剧下降，并且会有无数个正当(完全扯蛋)的理由来破坏你的性生活。首先，你只需想象一下妻子为了这个"潜在的小意外"会做出多大的改变，你就知道在新婚的蜜月期立刻造出一个小人的假设是多么的愚蠢。
If children are indeed involved in your life, you can likewise imagine how sharp of a toll thatlooking after the little bundles of joy will take on your potential allotment of sack whoopie time.
如果你们确实孕育出了一个小生命，你就可以想象一下要分配出无限多的时间来照顾小孩是件多么坑爹的事情!
There will come a stressful, intercourse free, period during which your little toddler(s) will wantto sleep with Mommy and Daddy so as to avoid the monster in the closet. There will come atime when Mommy will simply be so worn out after a stressful day at the office that she will befast asleep in the bed by the time you've finished brushing your teeth. Prepare for the comingdrought.
当孩子还处于为了躲避衣橱里的怪物吵着要跟爸妈睡的年龄段时，你就甭想有和谐的性生活了。当孩子他妈因为高压高强度的工作而累得沾枕即睡时，你也只能洗洗睡了。所以，准备好面对婚后性生活的"旱季"吧。
rce: All Good Things, And Some Very Bad Things, Come To An End
3.离婚：所有美好的和一些非常糟糕的事情，都结束了
Previously, we wondered aloud on your behalf whether there was anything truly as terrifying,mortifying, and soul scathing as the average experience of the institution of marriage in theUnited States. You're in luck! We found something worse: Divorce!
我们曾站在你的立场上声讨过，在美国是否还有比受婚姻制度的压迫更凄惨、坑爹的经历呢。恭喜你!我们找到了更糟糕的事情：离婚!
Want to bet half of your income, 18 years of child support payments, and 50 to 90 percent ofyour property on the slim and shady proposition that your marriage is sure to succeed whereover half of all other marriages contracted on the same day will fail? Be our guest!
跟你同日结婚的人中，有超过一半的夫妇都离婚了，你还想赌上一半的收入、18年的抚育费及婚前协议上50%-90%的财产来保证你和另一半能白头偕老吗?别傻了，权当看客就好!
Will your soon to be blushing bride lose her bright cheerful smile and adopt a scowling eyewhen you bring up the subject of a prenuptial agreement? This, more than any other, is thesure forecast of an unsuccessful marriage. Look, if she's not prepared to risk her all, whyshould you take the plunge for two?
在提到婚前协议时，你老婆的表情会迅速由晴转雨，分分钟变身成母夜叉吗?如果答案是肯定的话，那么就注定你们的婚姻不会美满。听好了，如果她还没准备好赌上一切，你又何必要冒险呢?
In case you even need to contemplate how potentially costly a divorce may be, let's addanother scenario to the mix: It's too costly to consider, especially while the children are tooyoung to leave home, and you'd be on the hook for 10-12 years of support payments. So youwait it out. You wait until the kids are old enough to head off to college.
在你需要盘算离婚所带来的经济损失之前，我们不妨换个角度来算一下这笔账：离婚远比想象中的烧钱。特别是在孩子年幼时离异，你将承担10-12年的抚育费。所以要耐心等待，等到孩子上大学后再离也不迟。
How does 18 years of doing time like a long term felon sound to you? Pacing the walls of yourcell and cursing the day you ever let yourself be booked into this loveless sham? It happensmore often than you think – are your parents still married, chum?
像重刑犯一样度过的18年婚姻生活听起来如何?想要摆脱婚姻的牢笼，后悔踏入这无爱的幸福假象?离婚已是家常便饭——亲，看看你父母的婚姻状况就知道喽。
You A Risk Taker? There's One Big One Left: Marriage
2.你爱冒险吗?还剩一个大冒险——结婚
Earlier on this list, we pontificated on the fact that getting married pretty ruins thespontaneous lifestyle of both partners, both as solo individuals and as a couple. But, restassured, there's a distinction to be made here. Being spontaneous doesn't necessarily haveto mean that you are intrinsically prone to taking wild risks with your life. After all, there'snothing inherently risky about deciding on the spur of the moment to drive down to the pierfor an ice cream cone.
上文所述，婚姻会破坏双方(原有的)的自在生活方式—不管是个人独处还是夫妻一起的生活方式都将被迫改变，这未免有些武断。在这儿我们来做些区分。自在生活，并不是意味着你本就想在野外冒险。毕竟，即时决定开车去码头买蛋筒冰激凌本身并不存在风险。
However, if you enjoy truly risky endeavors, such as extreme martial arts competition,surfing rough waves, or cliff diving, you're going to need to check your lust for wildadventure at the chapel door. You certainly won't be able to indulge in such risky anddangerous past times when you're expected to watch the kids on a Saturday morning whileyour wife is at the supermarket.
如果你真心喜欢冒险，酷爱极限格斗、冲浪、悬崖跳水等冒险运动，那么婚前请考虑清楚自己到底有多热爱野外冒险。因为婚后你将无法沉浸于往日冒险时光，取而代之的是周六早上当老婆要去逛超市时，你必须要照看孩子。
But, as it turns out, if you really want to live a wild and devil may care sort of existence, gettingmarried has more than its share of potential pitfalls and "winning ugly" scenarios. As statedabove, marriage is a proposition in which you essentially stake your home, career, income,and accumulated property on the thin likelihood of making it last for anywhere from 40 to 60years (sometimes longer). If that's your idea of the ultimate "Take no prisoners" thrill ride, beour guest!
事实证明，如果你爱野外冒险，你就要接受会有危险存在。同样，婚姻也不像看上去那么简单，它也存在一些陷阱和类似"winning ugly" 那样的场景。正如前面所说，结婚就意味着，你将家庭、事业、收入及所有财产全部押上作为赌注，希望婚姻持续40到60年(甚至更久)，尽管你赢得机会微薄。若你仍想享受《我不是囚犯》(Take no prisoner)中的刺激生活，那还是不要结婚为好!
iage Lasts Forever (And We Mean It)
1.婚姻恒久远——(这是说真的!)
The moment you get married, you're married forever. Even if you later divorce, there will alwaysexist a specific time and place within the continuum of eternity in which you were married. Evenafter the both of you pass away, that moment will exist for the duration of the Universe. Oncemarried, always married. Even if you manage to escape the snake pit with your limbs intact,you will always leave a piece of your soul behind. That's the price.
从结婚的那一刻，你就永远已婚了。即便你后来离婚了，在永恒的时空中总有那么一段时间你是已婚的。哪怕你们你年老逝去，(结婚)那一瞬也将在宇宙中永恒。一时结婚，永久已婚。就好像，即便你毫发无损地逃离了蛇穴，你也会被吓丢了魂。这就是代价。
Even if it lasts, you may still feel that you have wasted a significant portion of your youth, aswell as all of the opportunities that were laid before you, on being married. Many married people,both male and female, express extreme regrets regarding the chances they missed, or couldhave taken, which were instead sacrificed at the altar of holy matrimony.
即使婚姻延续，你也会觉得婚姻浪费了宝贵的青春时光，已婚状态使你丢掉很多触手可及的机会。很多已婚人士，不论男女，都对自己当初因步入婚姻殿堂失去或没有抓住机会而深感懊悔。
At the end of your life, what memories, what experiences, will you have to look back on? Willyou regard the closing days of your existence with something like satisfaction, secure in theknowledge that you have lived a full, well ordered, and happy life? Or will you sigh with regret,despairing to the end over the life you have well and truly wasted?
生命弥留之际，你会记起哪些片段?忆起哪段经历?你会含笑追忆那幸福、满足、安排得宜的快乐时光还是沉痛哀悼那灰心丧气、一无所成的昨日岁月?
Nothing is guaranteed to us in life, including the optimum duration of life itself. Since all thingsare in flux, it may already be later than you think. If you're still on the search for your ultimateadventure, or your ultimate goal in life, it's time to get on the stick. Marriage will only slowyou down. Don't stand still!
生活中万事无绝对，甚至生命本身也是如此。所有事物都在不断变化，但这变化也许无法追赶思想的脚步。如果你仍在寻找终极探险目标或追逐生活最终目标，那么行动起来吧!婚姻只会让你放慢脚步!别再原地踏步啦!
